Made of Baring it All

I made myself stand
In front an onslaught
Train of thoughts
And caught one I didn’t remember
From it’s faded colour
I’d have to been asleep.

“ You are as I recall, The one to remind me Why the morning sun Is a view I ought to chase.”

But these could be a cliffhanger,
Being only a sunlight away
To losing those memories
I’ve decorated my days with
I could be writing myself
A chain to never let you go.

“ when I found you, Remember I believed in love. Oh, the beautiful melody, From a true love's kiss, The anthem of the rain. I’d catch a firefly. Love, beauty of fairness. I believed.”

This is the difference
While I know my stance
I’ll not move but bare it all
I’ll not chase but pray earnestly
Thus so betraying this soul
As it will feel, and feeling will live on
I’m made of baring it all

And being a woman, With too many thoughts, To say I’m happy Would be a lie for where I belong.”

Let me embrace
What the days passed meant
And every prickle
Made needlessly by my wondering
Be a memory
And farewell
My life with you passing.

13.12.11

Before we begin,
I want to say thank you
For a glimpse at the stars
And a clear blue sky

Now, take my tears
They’ve been running
I feel I’m in a land
And it won’t dry

Hold my hand
I can’t stand on my own two feet
My shoulders carry many dreams
I couldn’t see come to life

When we began
I had many words I could use
Now the words seem
The only things I will ever have to use

Take my tears
They’ve been falling, falling
Finding no place and wherever they’ve fallen to
Life can’t be what they received

Imaginary Love

I cherish love
Imaginary love
Glamorize choice
I choose
To hold onto you
When it rains
When its spring
Before my eyes shut
Beholden

That love,
We’ve been playing
I see it before my eyes shut
But when I wake
It was a rainbow
I could’ve sworn I’d seen it
Been with it
Fell for it
Imaginary love
To say I chose you
With all the chaos life can be

I am built in love
If I were to be granted a wish
None dramatic
Only for worries to wash away
I’d hold onto quarrels
Doubts and concerns
To be left with memories
Yet live alone happily
‘cause once upon a time
My smile fed any desire
Imaginary love
I’m one to chase the wind

I cherish love
Bound to my soul
I cannot live without you
A pretty lie
Yet die of a broken heart
That love
I’ve painted
I’ve manipulated
I’ve ran from
But when it rings
I’m there before the sun has risen
This love I cherish
I wonder
Where its standing
To hold me while tearing me up
Yet even, I won’t walk away
From a glimpse at solace
Knowing myself
Through the eyes of purity
That love
Rules this pessimistic girl
Beholden

The Only Exception By Paramore

When I was younger I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind
He broke his own heart and I watched
As he tried to reassemble it
And my momma swore
That she would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I’d never sing of love if it does not exist

But darling, you are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception

Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we’ve got to find other ways to make it alone
Or keep a straight face
And I’ve always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable distance
And up until now I had sworn to myself
That I’m content with loneliness
Because none of it was ever worth the risk

Well you are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception

I’ve got a tight grip on reality
But I can’t let go of what’s in front of me here
I know you’re leaving in the morning when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it’s not a dream

Is The Fight Done By Marvel Jay

Is the fight done now mama?
Your husband
I’m looking at him
From the glances of a piqued woman
Is the fight done?
As you’re cooking dinner
And his glass is filled
I’m steaming
He is my father

My daddy view of him is now impaired
Can I ask mama?
When you put these glances on me
Were I to return being his daughter
With your temper’s lifespan?
And ask him to walk me down the aisle?

Papa, I’m conflicted
You and your wife know your vices
There are times you leave
I’m called to bare witness to her story
But you never speak
Your story is one I’ve yet to see

Is the fight done papa?
Can I now tell you I found someone
Need your approval to be someone’s mother?
I want to look you in the eye
But wish not to betray your wife
Had I not been her listening ear
But your daughter…
I’d have had many letters from you
Is the fight done?

This Pain

The pain singing in my heart 
Melody, my heartbeat
Could it quiet, drown
Meaning to follow mindlessly
The sounds that would swallow my sorrow
A stormy weather

When I'm sitting alone
And my thoughts are running
Could've done this that time
Melody, my heartbeat
Skyrocket to the max, I fall
I keep falling but If I could sleep soundlessly
The dark opening it's arms wide
Nothingness

This pain, living with it
Means I'm living, constantly
In burden of what could've been
Never present, drunk on shame
Melody, my heartbeat
Ever the reminder of who I am
I'm mournful

Memory Lane

When we were young,
Did the tree leaves die falling
Or were they stepped on and considered dead?

My hands could be picky
While choosing myself, I stepped on
What nature said is flow

When we were young,
Were we always loud about choice
This is what I will do, I am talented in this
And fate was a tale only the old believed?

My tears are coaxed by yours
A day you’ve immortalised, now the sun
Has gone and rewritten that day as history
Live, live so I can tell you there was a yesterday

When we were young,
Did the road seem like a mirror up ahead?
Knowing and being sure had a relationship
Knowing and looking forward to were mistresses
Or we grew tall, and wanted to end were we stood

Since we’ve become petty,
Let’s rest under a tree and catch it’s falling leaves
Then when we wake, that bed of leaves
Dead or about to die, will be the hands we held
Collecting all those choices that made us young

Elegy By Chidiock Tichborne

My prime of youth is but a frost of cares,
My feast of joy is but a dish of pain,
My crop of corn is but a field of tares,
And all my good is but vain hope of gain.
The day is gone and yet I saw no sun,
And now I live, and now my life is done.

The spring is past, and yet it hath not sprung,
The fruit is dead, and yet the leaves are green,
My youth is gone, and yet I am but young,
I saw the world, and yet I was not seen,
My thread is cut, and yet it was not spun,
And now I live, and now my life is done.

I sought my death and found it in my womb,
I lookt for life and saw it was a shade,
I trode the earth and knew it was my tomb,
And now I die, and now I am but made.
The glass is full, and now the glass is run,
And now I live, and now my life is done

Tiptoeing

If I told you a secret,
Of love I found and hid
Would you then be my love?

If I wrote you a letter,
Giggling and blushing for I’m over the moon
Would you then join me where I am?

Those are my confessions

If I brushed your hand shyly
And waited for your eyes to meet mine questioningly
Would you then see my eyes light up with you?

And if I, if I knowingly kissed you with reverence
How you’d once said you wished to be kissed,
Would you then return that kiss and glide with me?

Those are my questions

If, you and I shed all restrictions
Came before one another, baring all we’ve been tiptoeing around
Would we then become lovers?

This is my position