If Not, Reprimand Me.

Would you blame me Father?
for not listening to their teachings of you,
how they told me to love you
but would rather I follow my heart?
And held resentment in my human heart
for differences I noticed between me
and those who are said to be blessed,
not said by anyone in particular but
my eyes where I think those in your
favour are ought to stand?
Would you blame me,
when I think of you,
my eyes fill with tears that contain
much loneliness in this life;
detestment of this life
I wonder if for you I was ever a shining star
amongst your trillions of brighter shining stars?
For wanting reassurance
and asking for that testament
in those that are materialistic though
my soul is content with only seeing the sun?
Would you blame me Father?
as you’ve seen how I’ve fallen under
the judgment of their eyes and
can no longer proudly claim myself
since I have nothing to put forth as tribute?
This has turned my side of the relationship bitter,
do you blame me,
having love for you that’s been corroded
by what being human is and I thought
I could overcome by believing in you wholeheartedly
yet have succumbed to this monetary world?
Is my love for you only selfish Father?
Do you blame,
because when I’m alone lost in thought;
I blame myself.

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