If Tomorrow Never Came

If tomorrow never came
mother and I will seat, across one another
woman to woman, exchange our regrets
though I know I’m hers, I still want to hear

She hadn’t meant for me to be
thus my reprimanded child memories
and father hadn’t been her love
I saw it, even young I felt it

If tomorrow never came
my son would get a letter, a confession of sorts
The secret life he lead at night
camouflaging himself, and I don’t mean his looks

I saw him, I wasn’t meant to
there, fondling a bearded being, muscular too
they knew each other, I closed my eyes and felt tears
I boxed him mistakenly, he’ll never read it

If tomorrow never came
that man, the one didn’t give me children
He’ll know of my heart, how it crushed
we only ever shared kisses

But here, I’ll tell him the story
I wrote through my knowing him
a book with anonymous signature, the one he bought
not knowing he recognized himself

And if tomorrow never came
She will awake, after sleeping beauty
perhaps with her beauty and magic,
lift all the heaviness off my shoulders

Her outer persona, this weakling
and her demons will rest in peace
The life, it wasn’t the one written
Hopefully, she’ll understand. I lived a nothing

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