If you ask me now where I am, I will not answer you honestly, I will not tell you what happens to me when I’m alone or when I’m with you but when I’m with you, listening to your lively voice and recounts of many unimaginable things to me, thank God for giving me wild imagination, I’ll narrate to you how your voice narrates to me what I’m afraid to hope for and isn’t fear anymore but hopelessness because I once truly had my fingers pointing at the stars and striving to count as many as I could;

If you ask me where I am, I’m afraid my eyes will be too silent and my voice broken, I can’t say where I am; I know I was going somewhere too like many people but along the way, perhaps I met another me who could withstand what this world demands and I stopped walking, I can’t tell you where I am, and it’s not because I haven’t looked or used any means of prayer to see if I could find myself again but I, I don’t think I want to find myself again, let her be…

If you ask me, perhaps I will say I am resting or I’m walking at a pace even with my breaths, I’m a liar to myself first and this is my justice to lie to you comfortably as well; I will say, I ran to get here and now I’m standing still to enjoy the scenery my hard-work has permitted me but I’m a liar to my fibre and can’t distinguish anymore where I wanted to go and when I lost my way, was I ever walking a fine line? I cannot tell, I will say many things that you’ve heard and have been proven to be true, this is the truth…

If you ask me where I am now, after you’ve left with pity or contempt for me, I’ll only lie down in bed while tears accompany me silently and ask my God if it’s time for me to rest yet,

…I’ve come this far and though my feet don’t have blisters, from the tip of my short hair to the tip of my toenail, no matter how soft is your touch, you’ll only feel paper warmth;

I’m lost.

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