I’ll call love an adventure in the hands of time. look, it was you and I from the way we saw the sun to the water we grew up drinking; how our lands shared nothing but the same breath it was beyond the sky’s limit or destiny’s knowing smirk. We redifined finding purity heaven had offhandedly let go. I love you I said simplicity in which those words were said could be misread or taken lightly, hovered there like that rain that wouldn’t fall I held on waiting for a chance and you held on thinking it might be too soon and we met, finally the time that gave us glimmer of hope we met, our eyes’ collision those souls wouldn’t you say, may have already known each other?
If I haven’t lived it, and my thoughts aren’t able to take me there, that is true sadness, there I’m defeated.
Don’t laugh, this is said by someone who’s known hunger, truly now fears the coming days I, I’m not defeated yet.
See the common birds, I’m sure they have names I’ve been watching them fly this during the day,
heard them chirp when I was about to finally close my eyes and somehow found they mock me, with their tiny bodies, withdrawing wings they get close to the sky, could tell where my mother’s gone yet watched me slave away from a tree?
I’m learning to cover my ears the world’s registered many sounds but my name
Don’t laugh, we haven’t had water for days I stink the old lady told me again our worries differ. She told me never to stand under the rain though…
She said mother’s coming tomorrow with a baby she bought, all this while I thought she’d went to find father but my stomach’s been telling me all day it’s too empty and would like company, I stole again.
When I grow up I’ll become a beautiful lady everyone’s been saying so. What is it to be beautiful?
How old am I now? in my thoughts and seasons I skipped school, I cannot say I know. Perhaps like the world’s forgotten to check up on me?
I want to run away to where the sun sets only to watch it rise again, I’ll return home afterwards.
How the rainy days that peek in summer don’t ignite my fireplace contentment but a rather pitiful melancholy, knowing too the sun should rest. I miss my lover since his away.
I can’t relenquish to sudden change not this change, I can’t catch my heart being stirred in a way it feels it’s hiding behind a curtain neglected and cannot affrim it’s mood.
These rainy days I know they’re laying carpet for winter and my lover on his way home to a furlon living room, quiet house is the mischief of me covered head to toe in sadness, The sun, kisses on my skin The sun, my eyes alight with rapture but there in our unlit home is coldness of unprecedented change; He was gone too long.
The colour is lavender, not brisk purple or clouded shift of the intertwining shades of pink and blue but lavender, far seen in flowers the delicate like the first kiss when retold one could claim might have been stolen yet by blushing the profession tells there’s yearn; anticipation for one that’s making it’s trip. It’s lavender, surreal of a softness my mother’s humming gospel each Sunday morning or father’s ever silent presence the feeling of a homely place regardless where we’d get next month’s rent. That colour, my harmony’s identify it’s my welcoming sky to my dying land and the in between filled with chaos, care of endless hope. How it calms my sight but doesn’t blind let’s me the unsettled think for a moment beyond blue and white but there, that next step to take The colour is lavender.
I’ve abandoned self proclamations Those, They don’t sleep but follow me in my sleep; Who’s the thief? I abandoned them. They chased me for over a year that year I’ve not thrown it’s calendar away, mhm; did I somehow pick up baggage of my resolutions, the resolutions that have never seen fireworks? The crap then belongs within me. Abandonment.
I’m motivated, this is the first ever heard lie by my conscious self but it’s not a lie, I want to be motivated. My lazy ass has gotten of bed each day Not touching the floor barefoot, not touching the floor With slippers on; maybe I never did get off the bed; There’s a pile I need to sort, I listened to motivation. There, my chest feels light…
Crucial moments are revelations. Are these issues brought by lost time, top off my head, I didn’t meet any deadline and now over twenty five; do I hear some clock ticking or no accolades, it rings to me I’m wasting breath I don’t own? Abandonments! Those, Take one step at a time… To die tomorrow.
There’s still a decade to go? Twenty thirty two? My head’s already bowed.
I have abandoned self proclamations. Today, tomorrow; tick tock, tick tock, tick tock…
To be found, has forever been eternal end
Not at the end of the earth, far beyond the ocean
Seeing your face changing form, swimming into other faces but to no man’s land
Where your voice is not heard
And you have forgotten your tale
Its being found that has ties difficult to fathom
To cling to when your sleep has never been friendly
Near land, lavishly green and you see life in tomorrow
I wanted to be found, my voice melodious
But you see that shape, it’s a star behind my past
I point it for direction, tell you where I lost
And when you become smart, start to pay attention
to a fool that painted her dreams for all to see
Its when you learn to hope, I can be found
Only I haven’t painted, silence has took me in
Do you know who tells a story
A girl without a name, child in sense
Yet beneath her manners, dull isn’t who she is
Its her words that are ignored, held captive by
Hopelessness she sees valuable, she becomes a woman
Captured fully only by her love
That is where she goes, where she lives, where she’s
Beautiful and needs no retelling, its there a girl has miscoloured eyes, one for each of her selves
There she finds identity
And as I hope to live this life
Accordingly to destiny’s own fortune, I can be a rogue
Travel apparent my image, but not my true form
walk slowly so I’m partnered with strangers
I’ll have tales they willingly take
Mine as theirs but true only to myself
Its then to be found, will forever be eternity
Stay where it belongs, with my future
Rebelliously I will sleep, to see my star at the corner of the earth, talk about it to the listeners
I will be found…