It Lead To Being Mrs.

I’ll call love an adventure in the hands of time.
look, it was you and I
from the way we saw the sun to
the water we grew up drinking;
how our lands shared nothing but the same breath
it was beyond the sky’s limit
or destiny’s knowing smirk.
We redifined finding purity
heaven had offhandedly let go.
I love you I said
simplicity in which those words were said
could be misread or taken lightly,
hovered there like that rain that wouldn’t fall
I held on waiting for a chance
and you held on thinking it might be too soon
and we met, finally
the time that gave us glimmer of hope
we met, our eyes’ collision
those souls wouldn’t you say,
may have already known each other?

One Half Being Toxicity.

I have reached my conqueror,
ran into his arms not blindfolded.
I didn’t lie to him, I merely looked at him and performed wholeheartedly what he’d
already seen happen.
I did what a child who can’t stand on her own would do.
Now he feels sorry for me, not sympathy
wondering why I won’t come out; say
Do this for me, or give me space to learn to do it for myself.
My conqueror can’t chase me away,
he knows I’ve nowhere to run, his side is where my road has led
And if he could, I’d hang myself by cloud
float on his sunny day sky; so not even dust of me would remain.
I’m shameless.
Knowing there’s not much I can do
yet refuse to give him my consent.
I won’t be a puppy after all…
So he takes me everywhere he needs to go,
when asked who I am he puts on shades
and tells them one of the strays;
even given water, I’d still need the cup
to be brought to my mouth.
I don’t complain, I never speak against those comments.
I listen to every word he utters regarding me,
filling my library for when I go to sleep on
the mat by the foot of his bed;
every word he said
would be my replay bedtime story when he requests one.
We are in a relationship,
he had the strength to lull my overwrought thoughts
and I the meekness to withstand the wrath of his unleashed words.
It’s not strength on my part,
it’s that where I’m from he’d only be fooling around and my thoughts can conjure barricades against such attacks.
Nothing I’ve not done before.
I feel pity for him, sympathy it could be
His eyes smile thinking my eyes alight
because he’s reached me;
Only to realize I was looking at an ant
carrying crumb of bread as though carrying a country.
I want his lashing out to make me bleed once,
see if the sight of blood would make him wince and rush for a bandage
Or, arouse his animal and make him lick the wound clean;
whichever would make my eyes blink,
I’ve forgotten the act can come naturally.
I’ve counted all my conqueror’s faces and
there’s one I always look forward to,
Him looking at me intensely and saying;
I wonder if hell is looking for you…

Trude

https://za.pinterest.com/pin/300404237653358495/

Truthfully, hurt has
a charming tone.
It would take my heart
to dance
and leave it heaving.

Now I do wish
running were an
intimate act.

_ To disfigure illusions
so thoroughly…

I tended my first broken
exuberance,
Found the future stood
pensive,
till I proclaimed my heart
outrun.

I made a vow then,
to take the name of one
I could hurt evasively.

_I learned I could be weak
in the face of my own voice.

Inconsolably, I picked
the habit of pacing
through my cries…
till they reached a lulling hum.

Where does it end?
My dress has been
shedding petals
Not long now, I’ll be naked.

Regarding Where To Go Next.

Mindlessly
I trimmed the beginnings
Not to clip
To give myself and you
Burden less
Strain of where to go instead.

I didn’t surrender
Not surrendering
I let go, knowing
One more step
Will hitch myself
From looking up at sky
And seeing the sun.

I took you effortlessly
When we began
You’d rant and I’d stitch
Over the slurs with sunflowers
What I wanted to see
Burdensome
Before, I’d gone too long
Straining my eyes
To see what never was there to see.

I didn’t cower
I couldn’t. I refused
To stand in front
Many incompatibilities
And told myself
Day and night make a whole.

Midst Freddie V: Waiting Not So Patiently

Isn’t it funny Freddie, how I used to be the one that would get annoyed and not speak to anyone; now when you get annoyed you include me in anyone.

Back then, there wasn’t you. But when I told you about it, you said no matter what, I should always talk to you, you talked that habit out of me and didn’t talk it out of yourself?

I don’t understand it. Does this mean I should do for you what you did for me or let you sort it out yourself? I’ve never been in a situation like this. Not knowing what to do but knowing there must be something I can do.

I want you to tell me, to rely on me as well.

Then, gradually
By many collected memories
And sins,
Those times I drank
Took my eyes to look besides
I wished
By the clear waters of the sea
The eerie calmness of a lit sky
If even by my dreaming
To hold your hand once.

My walk in life
has left me
Few paces
behind where you’ve been.
Greeting your shadow
telling it not to run…

This window is closed.

Then, timidly
I presume
You’d love me too
.

I’m a good listener, even if I’m not, I will be for you.

Please, tell me what’s bothering you.

Seeing you in that condition, your eyes so dull and no smile on your face, is a picture I can honestly say I don’t want to print.

Selfish, Self-centered or not; I want you in good and bad…

Estranged

What can I say to you now?
You have become a stranger
In a way
I never thought were possible
Between you and I.