It’s as though Before I’d known the dream For its purpose, its identity My soul had already given in To the prospect of being anew Being of some life my reality Never was and once I woke up. I couldn’t go back to who I was Who I’d always been before that Fateful night. I’d changed. How could that be? Now I’m left different, in a world That didn’t change. A world that still Look at me with the same light, And because I want to belong, I Go by trying to remember who I Used to be, never truly being. But, how can I go back?
Tag Archives: Relationships
Serene, My Darling
Serene
If only your calm followed
Me to sleep
The dreams there I would live
Don’t look me in the eye
Never look me in the eye
Serene, if only we’d met
Before my years were
counted by my
Fingers and toes
I’d hold innocence for you
Don’t hold my hand
Never hold my hands
They used to be
Something you’d look at
And wonder how they’d be
But now look at them, these hands
Even blood doesn’t hold them
Oh, Serene
Don’t watch me
Don’t you ever watch me
Serene,
If only your love
Could lead me to a colourful
Room to gather my thoughts
I wasn’t stolen by neglect
I went out
But the day stabbed me
Too many times
You’ve stepped on my tears
And thought them spilled water
Yes Serene, those that caused dirt
They belonged to me
Don’t pity me.
You can’t pity me.
I want to welcome you
Serene
where you’d not vanish
Into a void of chaos
No one would rescue you from
Take flight while you can
Your beauty will be found by another
I couldn’t ‘ve been the only one
Don’t look back Serene.
Life has your destiny
Follow it.
I’ll be who I am
Besides a mirror
I’ll be whoever I can
With only your memories
Your calm, Serene
Know I wear it
To stop my skin
From breaking me
Reminding me what I’d
done. Your calm
I’ll hold it every morning
Hurt
In red I am vision, Rose from your childhood Garden, that you planted Yet didn’t pluck And I fell Not for the glazed eyes But the horns your hands Never threw away Pricked by love
Guest Posts
Once again hello.
Straight to the point is better than beating around the Bush, yes?
Here it goes.
My blog isn’t big on followers
And I’m too inconsistent on sticking to one way of writing but I love to read and see different experiences out there put into what is expressive to an individual.
In saying this, I would like to start posting Guest Post.
If you’re a regular visitor to my blog, you’ve pretty gotten a feel of what I like and how I write.
No, that’s not what I’m looking for. But this isn’t true, because I’m not looking for anything in particular. Anything with feeling and good, I will post.
My contacts are on the page, email me if you’d like to be part of this new adventure I’m taking.
I love to write and I love to read. And if you want a feedback on what I read, I think I could bring myself to doing that. Eh, that is the most difficult but I would do it.
Anyhow, the guest post is sharing and really trying to bring diversity to what I love.
This, writing and sharing, growing as a writer and trying new things.
If you’d like to do that, contact me at ciawillie@gmail.com with your post and where to find you, maybe a brief biography but that isn’t necessary. Only the name of the blog would be.
Goodbye and thank you.
Yours Truly
Sia Morweng
I LEFT
Sharing and remembering what I fell in love with.
On my Friday night I had a dream, a success story They dolled me up And they explained too What’d they say again, contradictions? Scarred, marked, un-toned I left I have a favourite memory But you’re not in it They called me karma, named me She hadn’t known them Tears alright, dirt in liquid How […]
Forgiven by Her liquor
I’ve drank gin my mind's escaped Filled with fairies And I can walk, stumble Where my tears are going Look at me, look With my flowy dress Exotic flowers I am a happy woman Used to There she goes, went she did My shiny smile pour me another glass I can feel my eyes Starting on their refill To forgetting, few seconds Forget my eyes never close My heart’s bled itself dry And bottle filled of pills By my bedside tempts me badly to be anew. Mine I was told Have stepped on My broken mirror How would I walk away? Unpunished I hold my liquor My thoughts hold me. Those memories I want shed Wear only in my stupor There was a time Once upon a time.
What could’ve been, what is…
When a mail man’s bicycle Screech is heard from a third house From my window, I run from my Sanctuary for my true love I know of my womanhood Once my breasts are displayed Trust my husband to remind me Of how I had a child, a child I’d been with nine months When he’d won from his games That fateful night he lay with me And his happiness gave me a life To shower all I know with, my prayer Yet my child, still he was covered in blood Silent he was on his arrival to this filth …to call myself a woman So I cut my hair… The mailman, what news could Fulfil this once a women’s dream? See the sun still shines And I’ve forgotten what the day Could do to a bare skin. You’ve come…
I’m losing this man I’d loved this man Yet his child left us My mind left me
The mailman by his power I’ve set foot on fresh grass And seen the outs my house is in And to breathe once more But there, there he goes Passes me without feeling Where will I go, what to glance at? No more the woman
Same old story
To change is to make myself mold into your life without taking my essence away, when that’s what you fell in love with; isn’t it? It is to become who you’ve always loved while understanding that our differences would never define me as weak, or different but as someone mature enough to admit when I’m not right or cannot have my way, wouldn’t you say?
Tell me, when everything became clear to you that I changed. I can’t seem to remember it like you do because what I remember paints a different picture to what you’ve told me.
“You’ve changed.”
The first time you said it, you’d come home and woke me up by walking in the dark and kicking things around the house, I’m sorry, sneaking around so I wouldn’t tell the time. Does it ring a bell? Or when I wanted to know where you were because I’d been waiting for you with your parents, couldn’t make excuses for you anymore.
“You’ve changed.”
Me, I have changed?
Long past you and I still hear you inside my head. What did I do so wrong than trying to build what I thought you too wanted? Is it my fault, that when I was picking matching plates for our kitchen you thought I was moving too fast, should I have read your mind then? Instead of being comforting acted like I didn’t care just to stay the same and played chase with you?
I’m so sorry
Loved, Lover
I can’t stop
one step to breathing again
find myself peeking
Through my heart
Inside Pandora’s box
All the moments with you
Album labelled “could’ve been mine”
I’m in that ocean once more
Trying to swim
Remembering not to breathe
Your eyes in my sight
Want to close my eyes
You voice in my ears
Want to scream for rescue
But I’m overwhelmed with memories
Life we’d painted
I wanna stop
This expired love
Scripted in my dreams
Going to sleep is my enemy
How to forget my heartbeat?
When I breathe I remember
Comes familiar faces, tears
Who do I cry for?
Knowing compulsion so strong
Why aren’t you forgettable?
I wasn’t enough
Once you looked at me
And forever lasted a second
While its become my every day
Where can you be erased?
In another’s eyes
With the same colour
But your face is all I see
Will I live singing
I knew one-sided love?
Tell me what changed?
I can’t stop
Even while ignoring you
My treacherous mind
Takes me back
I’m unguided
Hungering for one last time
I could her
One last time, I could be more
Look at me, I wanna stop
But where do I go?
Burn who I am
Only to forget you
How’d you win?
In moving on, while I’m still
At your doorstep
Counting “I love you.”
A hundred times
This lifetime
I wanna stop…
Here but missing, Father
I waited by the door,
My father’s steps took days to fade
Before his gift could find a lover
I took to heart his booming voice
Father, I’m happy lying to you
The woman I will be, I will write apologies for
I wait by the window
But my heart, knows to run hide by the wall
Ours is a relationship long forgotten
When have I ever been your only child?
The sun goes to sleep, wakes once again
And the tree’s shadow chased me out
The holidays that have passed
And your name is one I held onto
I waited by the yard
The flowers that once had life, now dead fish
There could’ve been a tree house
Only, only if I’d had your hands to hold
Your footsteps I wonder when they faded
Now, I’ve taken to trying to remember who you are
With so many faces surrounding my chubby face
I waited, waited until only wrinkles on my face
Her voice would draw me back, today and now
But for any achievement, your voice I missed
Yesterday had been my birthday
Your little girl Father, grown an inch but not with you
Father, I’m calling
Remember her
I waited on the roof seeing from many miles
Trinkets, daddy and daughter. Could’ve been us…
I waited in my dreams
Taking my last breath, waiting for you to speak.
That Gut Wrenching Poetry 