Find Me A Blue

Find me a blue
I’ll not tire of being besides me
I’m prone to leave my affections
Soon as my eyes glance
At the long road ahead
When I cringe, as I hold my hand
The thought of another doing so…

I dream of that feeling
Not the man, nor the woman
As I know my eyes never truly look
Find me a blue
My eyes will follow without my mind’s probing
What do you think of him?
She seems to be one you’d chase

But I’m smiling while they speak
Thinking, weren’t they made for me
Before I looked in a mirror
I’m not a princess

I’ve slept alone since I left my crib
All while those different homes
Felt to take away what high I found within them
I ran, drank myself numb to calm my heart
Since the time I knew lust
It’s been pestering me; reminding me
What I neglect will become hateful
And the cloud will become heavy to just blow away
Find me a blue
That knows my soul’s song
I want to hear it; from my mother’s heart
It’s tilted toward familial.
Seduction, enticingly
Wouldn’t this be a love story?

My mind’s destructive
But my eyes know to say I’ll be good to you
The blue you find,
Let them know my truth
As my heart has been writing it’s first love
The glorious fantasy will never be
Tell them, my mind’s too forward
My eyes deceptive
My heart a fairytale nest
And my soul a booming cloud
Yet this woman, when settled knows
Once her blue is before her
Then heaven wouldn’t be a place to go.

Awaken

And slowly I'm realizing 
I walk alone 
On an even road 
Paved by my dreams 
To deceive this young woman, 
Of her worth and loved 
Ones worth 
Where I'm walking 
Is that illusion 
I never saw had started 
To tell my heart 
How to beat, whom to beat to 
And when to beat. 
I realize now, 
Heartwrenchingly  
While I'm not lonely 
I need to be fed 
And other people's hands can't reach 
I need to laugh 
And other people's voices are muted 
I'm in an even mode 
Untouched by reality 
Wanting to break the fold.
I don't know, 
I'll open my eyes finally 
And that day 
I'll listen to my voice 
Despise how it sounds  
When in nirvana 
It always told me I was 
Always enough alone. 

Sinking

I ought to work 
Bring forth that purpose 
Do I lie? 

I'm held down, rooted 
By I deserve, I wish, I want
Do I lie? 

Do I lie? 
I want, I want 

But I know myself 
I crunch and take what's left 
Do I lie? 

Ma's been calling 
I think I heard 
Do I lie? 

Do I lie? 
I heard, I heard 

I'm watching myself 
From these very eyes, miscolouring 
Do I lie? 

I ought to work 
Bring forth a care 
Do I lie? 

Do I lie? 
I want, I want 

I can't be this blank 
I wish maybe for ma to call 
Do I lie? 

I'm not burdenless 
See I can't sleep 
Do I lie? 

Do I lie? 
I can't, I can't

 this is sadness 
I don't know where to look 
Do I lie? 

I ought to know
But I've drawn a line
Do I lie? 

Do I lie? 
I have, I have 

Living By Marvel Jay

Am I wishing,
When I’m reenacting beliefs
I saw could fly?


Being myself not asleep,
Let’s me only poke at the days that’s passed
Portraying those mistakes differently

Am I wishing,
When in this life
expect love for its majestic stature
To turn my view fantastical?

Childish I am to whine
In the morning when the sun
Doesn’t bestow me good wishes


Am I wishing,
When each step taken by me
My shoulders hunch all the more
And the night is no longer kind
Yet I’m older tomorrow
and still take one more step?

The girl I am awake
Puts on colours
And those colours for all they are
Never once matched the day
I wonder…

Underneath Two Surfaces

Behind these brown eyes
Is a world of rainbow sun
Fairy moods
I love you a morning greet
And laughter an anthem sung
Kisses till the end
Not a single closed chapter

Within this tainted heart
Is a date marked with rose petals
Flattered nights
Stars I have for tokens
Memories immortalized
I love you a theme forever
Never doubtful
Kisses till the end
Not a single closed chapter

Behind these brown eyes
Is a woman wondrous
Not clipped by rainy days
Fairy moods
I can a goodnight bid
And laughter a dreamcatcher
Kisses a breakfast meal
Happiness an ongoing chapter

Within this tainted heart…

Put A Little Love On Me By Niall Horan

We fight, we get high holding on to love
We came down ’cause there was nothing holding us
Is it wrong that I still wonder where you are?
Is it wrong that I still don’t know my heart?

Are you all dressed up but with nowhere to go?
Are your tears falling down when the lights are low?
Another Friday night tryna put on a show
Do you hate the weekend ’cause nobody’s calling?
I’ve still got so much love hidden beneath this skin
So darling

Put a little love on me
And put a little love on me
When the lights come up and there’s no shadows dancing
I look around as my heart is collapsing
‘Cause you’re the only one I need
To put a little love on me

We wrote and we wrote
‘Til there were no more words
We laughed and we cried
Until we saw our worst
Is it wrong that I still wonder where you are?
Is it wrong that I still don’t know my heart?

Fine Margins

Is it hope,
Waiting by the door
When your footprints
And mine have mingled
And I’m looking
For my ways
So I’d walk a different path
This time around?

Hopeful,
But I’m not moving about
I count each breath I take
When it won’t stop,
This hope
Stops my breath a second
And I find inane peace
Yet with each breathing
It has a well where to feed

On your final way out
Though we didn’t speak
Knowing our true feelings
Were you too hoping
Living, while we are still living
Our mingling wouldn’t untangle
I’d step out the door
Follow ways that were ours
Find you waiting,
Hope?

Is it hope?

Preciously

The world that needs changing
Lays at the tip of my pen
When the ink berates the sun
And my words curse the moon
Reluctantly flatters the stars
That world, though it can’t be erased
Would brighten from another hand

I don’t live to say I’m living
I don’t live to say I’m going to die
I don’t live to say I’m alive

The world that needs compromising
Is one where my thoughts are enemies
When I’m neglecting my days
Not to sleep at night
But to neglect my nights as well
I fear that world needs compromising
Not a change, only a view
From the southern perspective

I don’t live to say I was living
I don’t live to say I was going to die
I don’t live to say I was alive

Either world ought to be mine
I will leave it pristine, without experiences
While it had lives it took and flourished
I will leave it innocent
Revolving, it fulfilled its destined
And that world, its story would be known
For lives it took and flourished

I don’t live to say I am living
I don’t live to say I’m going to die
I don’t live to say I am alive

Fortune Teller By Marvel Jay

The fortune teller told me 
If a man blue eyed looked into my eyes
And this man
held my gaze
Two seconds then my heart skipped a beat
Forever would've arrived at my door

So I kept the fortune
Every blue eyed man I met
Looked into their eyes and waited
For my heart to sing
Ten of them later, I was getting ready
To ask the fortune teller
If maybe she was colour blind

Then I met a man who made my heart
skip a beat
Blue eyed too, lost count later
I met the fortune
As I'd already written him love letters
Had had a life with him in my head
From my side we were in love
To soon I'd have to say

That fortune teller,
That fortune teller had said forever would've
Arrived at my door.
Forever thats a colour I didn't want
Forever thats a frame that wouldn't hold me
Forever that wanted my chasing
She said he'd be my Forever
But not my happy ending.